We Take Turns Being the Sane One
by K Hanna Korossy
Summary: Taking Lucifer on is just crazy.


_Conceived because of Cathy and Yum, posted because of aXforamnesty. I'm just the middleman!_

**We Take Turns Being the Sane One**  
K Hanna Korossy

When Sam falls back into the Pit, he looks more peaceful than Dean's seen him for…years. He finally got to choose his destiny, right his wrongs, save his brother. It's like he's been set free.

Dean's the one left slumped on the ground, unable to even think past just continuing to breathe.

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Dean saw her for who she was. He never trusted Ruby, never bought into her master plan for killing Lilith. He knows brothers are stronger together.

Sam chose to believe a confident demon over his broken brother, listening to the siren call of the demon blood in his veins, and he'll never forgive himself for his stupidity.

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Sam researched while Dean carpéd the heck out of diem. Dean became caretaker when Sam developed terminal bad luck. Sam just wanted his big brother back. Dean just wanted one last Christmas. Sam guarded Dean's dreams with dream root. Dean guarded Sam's after they were all about different ways Dean died. Sam knew it wasn't Dad calling Dean. Dean knew eternal life wasn't the answer to his deal.

Bobby was the only one keeping it together after the hellhound tore Dean apart.

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Sam survived, both managing to not be killed and to not kill in Azazel's little competition. His calm made him a leader, even when he feared for why Dean wasn't there to do the job. It was only when he heard Dean coming and knew he didn't have to be strong anymore that he dropped his guard.

And when he died in that muddy road for all his efforts, Dean couldn't see anything past his body.

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Dean had always known there was something different about his little brother, but the powers came as a surprise, a fearful one. But it was still part of Sam, which meant it was something to be accepted and figured out, not rejected. He was willing to tell Sam that as often as it took, in words and in his presence.

Sam felt normal slipping further away with every new _difference _that manifested. It was frightening to be different, to not be able to trust himself. But what he couldn't stop thinking about was when Dean was going to reach his limit and take off…or worse.

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Sam grieved his dad, missed his dad, and honored his dad the best he could, and tried to take care of his brother.

Dean couldn't grieve and couldn't accept and couldn't move on, endlessly stuck in denial and anger, unable to take care of or let himself be taken care of.

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Dean had been many things for Sam: father, mother, best friend, brother. But all he could be now was comforter as Sam grieved, because the one role he couldn't fill was lover.

Sam buried his dreams along with Jess. It was hard to make new ones in the midst of seeking vengeance.

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Sam blossomed at Stanford, feeling like he'd finally come home.

Dean loathed Stanford for taking away his home.

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Dean ran a household with minimal funds and even less training. He made sure Sam ate, got to school, stayed safe. And he respected their dad, who gave him Sam, and the training and money and roof over their head to be able to look after his brother.

Sam wanted more and hated Dad for not letting him have it, and maybe even Dean a little sometimes for not agreeing with him.

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Sam did the research, kept the first-aid kit stocked, and held down the fort while his brother and Dad hunted.

Dean? Dean was so happy to finally be hunting, he rushed in where angels feared to tread.

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Dean knew Mommy couldn't come back, even if he didn't know why. He knew Baby Sammy needed bottles and diaper changes. And he knew that Daddy was different. So he tried to coax out the Daddy he knew, take care of Sammy's needs, and not ask for Mommy.

Sammy wailed, inconsolable, knowing only that something was wrong.

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Sammy gurgled with newborn contentment.

Dean promised him he'd always look after him, having no idea how big a promise he'd just made.

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Lucifer feeds his rage like a living thing, and for a while Sam is blind to all else.

Then it's a sparkle of light that's blinding him and, distracted, he remembers a four-year-old's ridiculous vow, and the twenty-seven years it was nevertheless kept. It's that crazy, unrealistic, suicidal love that finally pierces the hate, bringing Sam to his senses long enough for him to do what he must.

And that's how the madness of two brothers saves the world.

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End file.
